A Women's Facelift
A woman decides to have a facelift for her birthday. She spends £5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a news-stand to buy a paper.
Before leaving, she asks the sales assistant, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 37," the clerk replies. "I'm actually 47," the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonalds and upon getting her order, asks the counter girl the same question. She replies, "I'd guess about 35." The woman replies, "Nope, I am 47." Now she is feeling really good about herself.
While waiting for the bus home, she asks an old man the same question. He replies, "I'm 82 and my eyesight is starting to go. When I was younger, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was, but it requires me to put my hands up your blouse and feel your breasts. Then I can tell exactly how old you are."
They waited in silence in the empty street until curiosity got the best of the woman, and she finally says, "What the hell, go ahead."
The old man slips both hands under her bra and begins to grope around. After a couple of minutes she says, "Okay, Okay, how old am I?" He removes his hands and says, "You are 47." Stunned the woman says, "That's amazing. How did you know?"
The old man replied, "I was behind you in the queue at McDonalds."