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An Irish Boy at Confession

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It's been 7 days since my last confession and I've been with a woman of loose morals."

The priest asks, "Is that you, Timmy Shaughnessy?"

"Yes Father, it is."

"And who was the woman you were with?"

"I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well Timmy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now! Was it Brenda O'Malley?"

"I cannot say," Timmy replied.

"Was it Patricia Kelly?"

"I'll never tell."

"Was it Sheilah O'Brien?"

I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."

"Was it Kathleen Morgan?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Fiona Grogan, then?"

"Please Father, I cannot tell you."

"The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Timmy Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But you've sinned and you must atone. You cannot attend church or Mass for three months. Be off with you now."

Timmy walked back to his pew.

His friend Sean, slides over and whispered, "What did you get?"

"Three month's vacation and five good leads."