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Why I Fired My Secretary

Yesterday was my 50th birthday and I wasn't feeling too good that morning. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!' and probably have a present for me.

As it turned out, she didn't even say good morning let alone 'Happy Birthday'. I thought, well that's wives for you. The children are sure to remember.

The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said, "Good morning, Boss. Happy Birthday", and I felt a little better that someone had remembered.

I worked until noon then Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday. Let's go to lunch, just you and me."

I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!" So we went to lunch.

We didn't go where we normally go. Instead we went out to a private little place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.

On the way back to the office she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't have to go back to the office, do we?"

I said, "Well, I guess not. All the work is up to date"

She said, "Then let's go to my apartment."

After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable"

"Sure!" I excitedly replied.

She went into the bedroom and after about five minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake, followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.