Redefining Men's Rules to Women
We always hear "The Rules" from the female side.
Now here are "The Rules" from the male side.
The New Men's Rules
- Men are NOT mind readers.
- Learn how to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl now. If it's up, put it down. You don't hear us complain about you leaving it down.
- Sunday sports is like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be!
- Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this: Subtle hints don't work! Strong hints don't work either! Just say it.
- Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the TV commercials.
- "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
- Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
- Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and Void after 7 days.
- If you think your ass is fat, it probably is. Just don't ask us!
- If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you angry or sad, we meant the other one.
- You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, do it yourself.
- Crying is blackmail.
- Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions, and neither do we.
- Men see in only 16 colors (like the Windows default setting). Peach is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.
- If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
- If we ask "What is wrong?" and you reply "Nothing!", we will act like nothing is wrong.
- If you ask a question that you don't want an answer to, expect an answer that you don't want to hear.
- When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
- Don't ask us what we're thinking, unless you're prepared to discuss such topics as football or motor sports.
- And lastly... I am in shape. Round is a shape!
If you are a women, thank you for reading this.
If you are a man and don't mind sleeping on the couch tonight, show this to your wife or girlfriend?