Who'd Have Kids

You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like clearing the driveway before it has stopped snowing.
Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young.
I asked Mom if I was a gifted child ..... she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
Children are natural mimics, who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
The main purpose of holding children's parties is: to remind yourself that there are kids more awful than your own.
We childproofed our home 3 years ago, but they are still getting in!
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.