Golf Caddies

Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch, Caddy. It's distracting!"
Caddy: "Oh, this isn't a watch Sir, it's a compass!"

Golfer: "That can't be my ball, Caddy. It looks far too old."
Caddy: "It's a long time since we started Sir."

Golfer: "I'd move Heaven & Earth to be able to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try Heaven Sir, you've moved most of the Earth already."

Golfer: "Well Caddy, how do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good Sir. But personally I prefer golf."

Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5-iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually, Sir."

Golfer: "Caddy, do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Oh yes Sir. You miss the ball much closer than you used to."

Golfer: "Well, I have never played this badly before!"
Caddy: "I didn't realise you had played before Sir."