The Best Bumper Stickers

Honk if anything falls off.
Illiterate? Write for help now!
Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
Horn broken.... Watch for finger.
If you're not a hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
To all you virgins out there: Thanks for nothing!
Stop lights timed for 30mph, are also timed for 60mph.
If that phone was up your butt, maybe you'd drive better.
Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No Hard Feelings".
If you don't believe in Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
If sex is a pain in the ass, you're doing it wrong!
Constipated people just don't give a shit.
Fight Crime: Shoot Back!